you're reading...
Entertainment Stuff, Other Stuff

10 New Year’s Resolutions I Think You Should Make

As 2016 rolls around, I thought it would be helpful to others for me to make some light NYE Resolution suggestions. Because I know each of these people personally, I can accurately gage the type of resolutions that will be beneficial to him/her in the upcoming year. You know what they say: new year, new me!!

1. For my 16 year-old sister: Learn how to use a tampon.670px-Use-a-Tampon-Step-4.jpg

2. For the ‘cool’ professor: Please, tell me more about your drinking habits.

3. For Ted Cruz: Give birth to a child with your one-night-stand.

4. For my wax lady: Less mirror, more burn prevention.

5. For Taylor Swift’s ‘squad’: Only shave Taylor’s legs 3 times a week (instead of the usual 5).Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 12.30.28 AM.png

6. For the homeless guy that sleeps on my street: 
Cool it with the handshake attempts.

7. For girls who only drink Fireball: Apologize to every bartender you’ve encountered.

8.  For my dog: Lick your butthole as a treat, not as a habit.

9. For students who share their political opinions on Yik Yak: Only eat dinner alone twice a week.

10. For Caitlyn Jenner: Begin training for Rio 2016


About smunionrat

i am everywhere and nowhere, a silent creature roaming amongst monsters


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

follow @thefauxrient on insta!!!!

No Instagram images were found.


  • 1,701 weirdos
%d bloggers like this: