While other college students are scrambling to apply for summer internships or abroad programs or to be a Brand Ambassador at Next Step Reality, I have made the executive decision that 2016 will go down as My Craigslist Summer. After long hours scouring craigslist.com for the most promising job opportunities, I have collected quite the number of options.
The plan is flawless: squat in some NYU dorms for various 2 week periods, and then ~sneaky~~ make like $6000 by the end of the summer. I really don’t want to give away all the details of my prospective employers, but here are some of the tamer options, presented to all you attention-deficient readers in list form, of course.
This summer will be a summer of growth and of experience. I will learn and I will ask questions. I will fail and I will succeed. I will catch diseases and I will give diseases. But most importantly, I will have made a friend named Craig.
1. To Buy A Soul Cycle Class
2. To Justify An Increase In My Dairy Intake
3. To Buy Anti-Diarrhea As A Result Of My Increased Dairy Intake
4. To Get Paid For Throwing A Pie At Someone’s Face (there’s no joke here)
5. To See If Someone Will Suck My Sixth Toe
6. To Figure Out If I Am More Goth Than Overweight (or the other way around)
7. In Honor Of Amanda Bynes Because I Miss Her
8. To Feel What It’s Like To Kill A Man
9. To Be Me. Finally.