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hummus_lovr

i enjoy a nice tub of hummus with my lunch thefauxrient.com
hummus_lovr has written 11 posts for the fauXRient

7 Things To Do On A Sunday

It’s Sunday! You aren’t doing work and you’re hungover as hell. Enjoy this comprehensive list of the 8 most stimulating, rewarding activities to do on the day God literally deemed ‘the day of rest’.   1. Wikipedia Straight up, Wikipedia is the only reason why I know that there are 50 states in this country. … Continue reading

#TBT: Five Haikus Because Middle School ROCKED!!!

good morning i pledge allegiance to abercrombie and fitch sorry, i mean god love i know you like me you shot me up with your lead pencil with bite marks XOXbubblegumgirlXOX heeeeeyyyyy wuts^ haha nm jc hmwk sux lawl who do u lykeeeee???? fun see the foursquare queen? heard that she wears training bras let’s … Continue reading

2016: My Craigslist Summer

While other college students are scrambling to apply for summer internships or abroad programs or to be a Brand Ambassador at Next Step Reality, I have made the executive decision that 2016 will go down as My Craigslist Summer. After long hours scouring craigslist.com for the most promising job opportunities, I have collected quite the … Continue reading

The Definitive Ranking of the 2016 Presidential Candidates

As the Iowa Caucus has come and gone, the dust has settled, and Americans are becoming increasingly familiar with the candidates in the 2016 Presidential Race. Now, because the favorability of each and every candidate is SO high (maybe the highest we’ve seen in decades!), I took it upon myself to alleviate the processes of … Continue reading

Five Haikus Because Winter Break Rocks!!!

currently uber driver plays romantic music and hums softly to himself food #2: open the pantry then go peak inside the fridge  open the pantry    pedicure hey, I see that look when’s last time you wore shorts? yeah, didn’t think so    ugh i don’t need to see your miami snap story wait, what … Continue reading

~*!*~A White Girl’s New Year Thoughts~*!*~

So, it’s 2016. You’ve like, totally made a comprehensive New Year’s Resolution list that you posted in three of your GroupMe’s, and now you’re ready to get shit done! After spending the last week binge drinking and eating (it doesn’t count because it’s the holidays…and it’s obv still the holidays until you get home from … Continue reading

Feeling Inferior: Bicyclists Promote Marginalization on College Campuses

This piece represents the opinion of the author: My_Opinion_Matters Before you judge me, or shoot me one of those grimacing looks through your computer screen, let me first say this: I grew up on a cul-de-sac, I can run at a reasonably fast pace, and I’ve been to both Amsterdam and Copenhagen. I attended an outdoorsy … Continue reading

5 Items You NEED This Winter

As the holidays roll around, we’re all foraging the web for the perfect gifts to buy for ourselves, ask for ourselves, and (only on occasion) give to others. I have compiled this list of practical, fashionable, and necessary items for everyone’s winter wishlist. 1.  Canada Goose HyBridge Lite Skirt ($275) Canada Goose does not cease to … Continue reading

Your FauXRoscopes for the Weekend

Astrology is stupid because a birthday doesn’t actually tell you anything about a person. Prophecies should be based on something more revealing, like, idk, someone’s outward appearance?? Looks are all that matters people!! If you’re wearing stained sweatpants rn:  So you woke up this morning and make the conscious to not wear real clothes. How does … Continue reading

What if Ghosts Actually Live in Ghost Towns? (And Other High Thoughts)

Have you ever been so high that you thought you found the secret to curing cancer, or ending racism, or like, how to make a Google for your brain? Yeah. It’s a wonderful thing when you have an excuse to think/say the thoughts that have been hiding in the crevices and crooks of your mind. … Continue reading