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This category contains 12 posts

7 Things To Do On A Sunday

It’s Sunday! You aren’t doing work and you’re hungover as hell. Enjoy this comprehensive list of the 8 most stimulating, rewarding activities to do on the day God literally deemed ‘the day of rest’.   1. Wikipedia Straight up, Wikipedia is the only reason why I know that there are 50 states in this country. … Continue reading

#TBT: Five Haikus Because Middle School ROCKED!!!

good morning i pledge allegiance to abercrombie and fitch sorry, i mean god love i know you like me you shot me up with your lead pencil with bite marks XOXbubblegumgirlXOX heeeeeyyyyy wuts^ haha nm jc hmwk sux lawl who do u lykeeeee???? fun see the foursquare queen? heard that she wears training bras let’s … Continue reading

2016: My Craigslist Summer

While other college students are scrambling to apply for summer internships or abroad programs or to be a Brand Ambassador at Next Step Reality, I have made the executive decision that 2016 will go down as My Craigslist Summer. After long hours scouring craigslist.com for the most promising job opportunities, I have collected quite the … Continue reading

A Run-On Sentence for the Winner of the Powerball

so you win and you’re feeling a bit nauseous so you go to the bathroom and grab that pregnancy test and start to pee and you’re careful not to get your fingers wet because, you know, that’s disgusting and you’re a billionaire now so obviously you’re classy and your fingers should always stay dry and … Continue reading

Woman Encounters Homeless Man’s Ballsack, Claims Virginal Conception

Early yesterday morning a middle-aged woman experienced what she calls, “The most important 47 seconds of my life”. Emitting a long moan when asked to relay the events to our team, the woman (who has asked to remain anonymous), smiled, crossed herself, and flickered her eyes. It is no surprise that she acted in such a … Continue reading

The Definitive Ranking of the 2016 Presidential Candidates

As the Iowa Caucus has come and gone, the dust has settled, and Americans are becoming increasingly familiar with the candidates in the 2016 Presidential Race. Now, because the favorability of each and every candidate is SO high (maybe the highest we’ve seen in decades!), I took it upon myself to alleviate the processes of … Continue reading

~*!*~A White Girl’s New Year Thoughts~*!*~

So, it’s 2016. You’ve like, totally made a comprehensive New Year’s Resolution list that you posted in three of your GroupMe’s, and now you’re ready to get shit done! After spending the last week binge drinking and eating (it doesn’t count because it’s the holidays…and it’s obv still the holidays until you get home from … Continue reading

10 New Year’s Resolutions I Think You Should Make

As 2016 rolls around, I thought it would be helpful to others for me to make some light NYE Resolution suggestions. Because I know each of these people personally, I can accurately gage the type of resolutions that will be beneficial to him/her in the upcoming year. You know what they say: new year, new … Continue reading

5 Items You NEED This Winter

As the holidays roll around, we’re all foraging the web for the perfect gifts to buy for ourselves, ask for ourselves, and (only on occasion) give to others. I have compiled this list of practical, fashionable, and necessary items for everyone’s winter wishlist. 1.  Canada Goose HyBridge Lite Skirt ($275) Canada Goose does not cease to … Continue reading

5 People You Might Run Into At The Gym

1. The professor: There’s that awkward ten seconds that pass when you spot her walking in the door, and in order to avoid any/all interactions outside the classroom, you proceed to hold your plank for an extra twenty seconds, strictly positioned with your head bowed. But there is no escaping this terror, and as soon as … Continue reading